So, I’m starting to enter a whole new dimension, and it’s a little odd. Two times this same situation came up, and I actually didn’t know how to answer. I just went “uhhhhhh” as I was trying to come up with something that sounded plausible.
As everyone knows, I’ve always been very up front and “in your face” about going through IF. To me, it’s like any other disease, and there is no reason to skirt around it. If I had diabetes or something like that, of course it would come up in conversation, the way Celiac often does when I am out somewhere and there is food being served. So, I was at my friend Jane’s house and we all went swimming. I met Jane through Lisa, as Lisa and I were cycling buddies a few years ago (she was successful with twins on that cycle, I had a BFN.) Turns out, last year Lisa moved out of the City and near my house, and I recognized her name on the Moms of Multiples forum so we re-connected. Jane was one of her cycling buddies from that previous, successful cycle and we are all friends now. It’s comforting being in those environments- we are all moms, all have kids, and all of us went through IF to get those kids. We can talk openly, use abbreviations and acronyms, and everyone gets it. It’s like visiting your home country where everyone knows the language and you don’t have to explain anything, you don’t have to explain that yes, my kids are biologically ours, or no, twins don’t run in our families, etc.
But then Jane’s son had a first birthday party and I met this awesome, hilarious couple that we hung out with most of the day. Of course, it’s only natural for someone to ask, “So, how do you know Jane?” At first, I was like- hmmm, but then I simply said, “Through my friend, Lisa. Do you know Lisa?” She responded she had no idea who Lisa was, and she thought it was strange. So then she asked if Lisa was a City friend or a suburb friend.Then I was stumped. What was I going to say- well, actually Lisa and Jane met while sitting in the waiting room of Cornell, which technically is in the City so I guess yes, they are City friends? I know that I am upfront with everything, but I certainly have no clue how open my IF friends are to other people, and it’s obviously not my place to hint anything of the sort. I really had no clue how to answer if she was going to dig deeper! It was an odd feeling.
And then it happened again with another new friend. She saw that we had a mutual Facebook friend and she said it’s such a small world, Sara is her neighbor and she gives her tons of advice on having two boys! How in the world do you know Sara?? Well, I know Sara from IF, and I met Sara through Lynn who I met at the RESOLVE Advocacy Day in Washington, DC! Urggghhhh. It’s just so weird, you know? Anyone else experience these things?
BUT- at the same time, it’s really sorta kinda cool. As much as I enjoy and appreciate being in a comfortable social environment with fellow IFers, it’s also a little refreshing to be around non-IFers, who have only met me POST trauma, they never knew me as the bitter, broken down, shadow of a woman. They only know me as a fun, peppy, (thinner) mother of twins. Hmmmm…imagine THAT. Weird, eh?