Champagne Problems

First of all, I just have to put out there how much I hate seeing pictures of me pregnant. It makes me sad, so very very sad. So why would I be looking at them, you ask? Well, a fellow IF vet and now mother of (DE/DS) twins is doing a documentary on what it’s like to experience infertility, and somehow we found each other and I was interviewed. She asked if she could use some of the pictures of me pregnant with DIJ in the film, so I sent her the Kodak gallery link where I have all of them stored. I had scanned in all of my ultrasounds so those pictures are on there, as well as the weekly pics of me holding up what week I was, a few cute ones of DH and I registering at Buy Buy Baby, and a few random ones of us just being US, but I have this beautiful gorgeous perfectly round belly. While I was living it I never thought I had that big of a “pregnancy” belly, the one that you could tell was baby and not fat from across the room. And now looking back at those pictures it almost took my breath away at just how perfect it was, and I was so paranoid about everything that I never appreciated it, or thought it was big/healthy enough. I wish I had just sent her the pictures link and never looked at the pictures, it was awful. As in, bad dreams awful. I just can’t believe how much I still mourn DIJ, how much I mourn the loss of a pregnancy and how much I mourn the loss of ever giving birth. And this is almost two years after we lost him, and the birth of my gorgeous, healthy twins. Well, sadness is sadness, and mourning is mourning. If someone loses a spouse and then gets remarried a few years later, I’m sure that person still gets terribly sad when thinking of their deceased husband or wife, even though they are currently happy.

And now to completely switch things on you- here is my current Champagne problem. People in the stores/out on the street/in the mall- listen up! I DO NOT want to stop and talk to every single damn one of you! At first I would make eye contact with everyone walking down the aisle, almost inviting a conversation and proudly show off the twins, but now I just want to get in, get my Dove soap, my laundry detergent and my box of tampons and then get the hell out before one of them wakes up or starts crying. I found a pair of matching onesies that said “Yes, We Are Twins.” I almost bought them last night, but now I’m thinking of going to CafePress and making my own that say: “1. Yes, we are twins 2. No, we are not identical. 3. No, twins do not run in our family.”

It’s very sweet and nice and all, but while I am online at CVS holding three tampon boxes in my left hand, the stroller with my right hand, and keeping a pacifier in place with one of my knees, do I reaaaaaaally look like the type of person interested in engaging conversation right about now?

See, it’s a Champagne problem!

And, since I am on the Whiner Boat today, here’s another complaint- there is a woman in my twin playgroup who I happen to actually like very much. But somehow every time we meet she is able to find a way to fit in the fact that she has no help, she is the only one around to take care of her aging parents, and her older daughter is starting school next year and she’s worried about a whole new schedule. Yep, I agree that these are all problems, but I just CAN’T feel sorry for someone who has a 5 year old daughter, and then got pregnant with boy/girl twins at the age of freaking 42 on her second round of Clomid! I know it’s not fair to constantly turn everything into a “who had it worst in IF” battle, but right now I am still there mentally sometimes. I’d also hate to have no help with 7 month old twins and a 5 year old, but….I’m sure she’d also hate to have gone through 11 rounds of IVF for no reason. Anyway, this really isn’t making sense, but I know you Vets out there get it. There are a couple of times when I have to bite my tongue at playgroup, usually when the moms talk about how they got pregnant, how their twin pregnancies went, and what kind of birth they had. But when someone gets a fact wrong I always speak up. They all know my story and have read it on IVFC so they know where I’m coming from….

Anyway, the twin’s are just getting more and more fun every day. They laugh and “talk” all the time now, and they are doing some serious teething. They both sleep through the night and we started fruits a few days ago. I’m having a lot of fun planning DH’s first Father’s Day with lots of surprises and homemade gifts. I even did a little photoshoot of the twins (I’m an amateur photographer) in some special outfits that mean something to DH. I’m also still working on some other things. What are you guys doing, if anything?

Comments

[J]

Im a momma after 7yrs of infertility. We suffered 9 losses, 5 surgeries, multiple ivfs,etc. Adoption is what worked for us. Anyhoo, I feel you in the mommy group thing because I belong to stroller strides and almost all of them are fertiles, except the pregnant woman who did clomid and then went gluten free and boom pregnant. But I totally freaked out the first day there when they were all talking about pregnancy and having another baby, like they were planning grocery lists!! Why am I bitter? I dont know. but I feel like I will always be that way. So my point is, dont feel guilty for the way you feel! those are your feelings and nobody has walked in your shoes! ((Hugs))

[Kate B]

Love the champagne problem! Anytime I'm in a line with a box or two of tampons in my hand, I do not want conversation. I can't imagine having to also manage two children and their stuff as well. People don't think. But, twins or other multiples are always going to be a bit of a curiousity. Get the shirts - it should help.

[TC]

Get ready cause my twins will be 5 in a few months and people still ask ALL those questions.

[Abby]

Sunshine- You need this shirt. I bet there is a twin version
http://www.cafepress.com/+if_you_have_bbg_fraternal_triplets_womens_ligh,398067277