ONE!
Kelly had her first ultrasound today- we were both a wreck about it. We saw one gestational sac at 5 weeks, 4 days. No fetal pole yet, which to be perfectly honest, freaks the shit out of me, but the doctor said everything looks “perfect” and it’s too early to see the pole….But still, how do I know it’s not a blighted ovum?
Trying to stay positive and not let my mind go there…next scan is a full 8 days from now, next Tuesday. By then we should see both the pole and a heartbeat. I already know all 3 of us (me, Kelly and Lance) will be a wreck before that one. Man, this part sucks!
I drove to Lance’s office because I refused to be alone AGAIN when getting big news like this. My cell phone buzzed to let me know I received a picture message and it was freaking AWESOME! They must have frozen the ultrasound screen of Kelly’s ute with the little sac in it, and she’s crouching down right by the screen holding up her finger (like saying “we’re #1!”) and the caption was “Taa daaa! It’s one!!” So we got that picture and then the phone immediately rang and it was Kelly and her DH telling us what happened- what a great way to let us know.
I WILL say that I am so incredibly thankful right now that for two things:
1). That it’s just one. The thought of twins was so so scary to me as I am incredibly risk averse right now, and a twin pregnancy is naturally high-risk. I want ONE, fat, healthy baby at the end of this journey. I’ve heard too many heartbreaking stories of twins lost between 16 and 18 weeks, and I just can’t handle that. I am so, so grateful it’s ONE.
2). I am incredibly grateful for Kelly and using a GC. My anxiety level is pretty high of course, but if it was ME- fuggedaboudit. There is no way on this earth I could be the one pregnant right now. No friggin way. It was worth every single penny. No- it was worth DOUBLE every penny, that’s how strongly I feel about this.
Another really cool thing about it being one is that we decided we’ll use me for (heaven willing) Baby #2 since we were blessed with 10 frozens. Yes, I am aware I just wrote a paragraph about how thankful I am that I’m not the one pregnant, but trust me, in a year or two when (heaven willing) we actually have a child, that yearning of being pregnant and giving birth will come back, and now I’ll hopefully actually have the chance to do that. I’m super lucky.
So, I’m trying to go with it and trust the SIRM doctors who have yet to lead me down the wrong path. It’s still hard though.
I haven't felt this happy and excited in about 2 weeks!!! YAY!!! XXXXXX
Posted by: Mrs. Sarah | 09/21/2009 at 07:12 PM
WAHOOOOOO!!!!! I've been afraid to even comment until now, I've just been holding my breath for you. Whew, glad I can let that go. One fabulous healthy baby, I agree, thats the right thing to pray for. We, of course will, on your behalf.
Posted by: Barbara (braceletgirl) | 09/21/2009 at 07:29 PM
One healthy baby sounds perfect- congrats!
Posted by: Shilpa | 09/21/2009 at 08:14 PM
One! EXACTLY what you wanted (and what I would have wanted too, for whatever that is worth). Yeehaw, as they say in Texas!
Posted by: Janet V-M | 09/21/2009 at 08:17 PM
I just shed a tear for you guys! This is gosh-darn fantastic news. Just fantastic!!!
I'm doin' a little dance right now Sunshine. This is the BEST news! I will keep thinking positive thoughts and praying for you next Tuesday.
Posted by: Mic | 09/21/2009 at 08:29 PM
Thank goodness. I have been holding my breath all day until I could get home tonight and check in. M, I am so happy for you and completely understand the relief you must feel that you have only one going on. Twins are too scary to contemplate right now b/c of the risk. xoxo
Posted by: Merideth | 09/21/2009 at 08:34 PM
WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO This is GREAT news!!!! I am so over the moon happy for you all!! This news is so great and has given me something else to focus on today ( thank goodness). As I told you before only 7 more wakeups!! This is so freaking amazing I am speechless and you know that is NOT me LOL! I have marked my calender already! Love ya!! xoxoxoxo
Posted by: TC | 09/21/2009 at 10:15 PM
That is amazing news! Congratulations :-) Holding you both in my heart for the next 8 days.
Posted by: Mel | 09/21/2009 at 10:25 PM
Yay for one and here's hoping all continues to go smoothly...lots of good wishes your way!
Posted by: Iswari | 09/22/2009 at 12:01 AM
Congratulation!!!!
That is amazing , glad you have so many frosties.
Posted by: K | 09/22/2009 at 04:03 PM
Congrats! I was in the same boat at that exact same day and it totally freaked me out. When we went back a week later all was just as it should be and now our daughter is almost 11 months old! We're just starting our own gestational carrier cycle in the near future and I'm so happy to hear your great news!
Posted by: sara | 09/23/2009 at 09:05 AM
I'm so, so pleased for you all. One step at a time but it's really good so far.
thinking about you, obviously
Posted by: antonia | 09/23/2009 at 01:17 PM
PHEWWW. That is such great news! I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
Posted by: Mary (Canyonlands) | 09/23/2009 at 05:55 PM